Put Your Own Happiness First

I have recently realized that you cannot always please everyone. Throughout my life I have constantly tried to make everyone else around me happy. If I felt like my parents would disapprove of my behavior I would do what I thought they would like instead of what I wanted. If I knew that my boyfriend or roommate wanted to do something, then I would change my plans to accommodate them. I have always pasted on a smile and gone along with the group even if it was something that I did not want. Once, I even signed a year long lease to live in a house with two girls that I knew were lunatics.

During my sophomore year, my best friend decided that she wanted to live in a large house with five other girls. She also made the decision that she wanted me to live with them as well. I knew it was a bad idea from the beginning. Two of the girls went out every night and never did any school work. They had bad reputations and talked about everyone behind their backs. My instincts told me to get an apartment with other friends, but my best friend had her heart set on living together, so I caved of course. Throughout the entire year, I was miserable. The girls ended up being mean and would pull crazy, drunken stunts. I would call my Mom and cry at least once a week, but when I was around my roommates I never spoke a word of my unhappiness.

During my last semester of college, I reached a turning point in my life. I broke up with my boyfriend whom I spent the majority of my time trying to please, and I decided that I had had enough. Moving on from that relationship forced me to step back and examine the real reason behind my unhappiness. It made me realize that life is too short to spend all of my time constantly pleasing other people. I finally understood that I needed to live my life for me and stop trying to please everyone else around me first, because no matter what I do, everyone is not always going to be satisfied. Their happiness is beyond my control.

I forced myself to focus on me. I began saying "no" to people which was a difficult thing to do, but a huge step in self-discovery. I started to figure out things that I actually enjoyed doing, and I also figured out the things that I didn’t like. I learned to listen to my inner voice and feelings, and I also began to stand up for myself. I began to understand that you do not have to agree with people all of the time to make them happy. One of the most important things that I realized was that people are not going to shut you out of their lives if you don’t go along with their every wish. If they do shut you out for putting your needs first, then they are probably not worth your time.