Compromise, not change

Growing up in the South has not really been easy for me. Let’s face it – I ain’t no southern belle. I was not born here. My family is not from here either and I think that made a huge impact on my upbringing. I guess have always been different from most people ‘round these parts. I just have a much more liberal outlook on life than most people do in the southern states. Many of these people did not appreciate my uniqueness and let me know it. These relationships left a bad taste in my mouth toward the more conservative people of the South.

When I first arrived at the University of Alabama, I was nervous that I would find myself alone in my opinions and beliefs. Instead of joining a sorority, which is expected for a southern belle, I joined the Million Dollar Band. There were enough people in the band that I could surround myself with the different kids.

Early this year, I accepted a leadership position within the band. Some of my bold opinions and strong language are not for everyone, including some people who were now my responsibility. The wall I had created to keep out my opposition was automatically destroyed. As a leader, I would have to treat everyone, no matter how compatible or incompatible with me, with respect and honor their beliefs, but being a strong leader is a lot harder than I thought it would be.

I was proud of who I had grown into and, being rather headstrong, felt that I had no reason to change who I was to accommodate different people. This created a lot of tension and caused a lot of head butting. For weeks, our differences created an awkward atmosphere and the tension between many of us thickened. Inevitably, the situation imploded and a confrontation ensued.

Then suddenly, my so-called light bulb lit up. The whole time I had been avoiding a change within myself, and expecting everyone else to change at the drop of a dime. Change was not what we needed at the time. We needed to compromise.

I have always preached change, but this experience has opened my eyes to an incredible, new option. Through this experience, I learned that a complete change from even one side is far too difficult to accomplish. However, if everyone gives a little and believes in finding the middle ground, then a lot more can be accomplished.

I am determined to use my epiphany to its full potential, starting with the southern people I have run away from my whole life. Maybe then, the concept of compromise can be spread throughout the country, maybe even the world.

After our confrontation, the atmosphere at band practice is light-hearted and enjoyable. I only wish we could have resolved our differences earlier in the year because everyone’s experience could have been much more pleasant. We can all learn from each other, as long as we give and take equally.