I believe we are in control of our attitudes

Five months ago, after four good, long years together, my girlfriend and I broke up. My heart was broken and I felt lost and confused, like I was driving down the road in unfamiliar territory and somebody took my map. There were times when I had imagined what it would be like if we ever broke up, but when it actually happened, nothing I might have thought prepared me for the real thing. It seems cliché, but I think it’s true, as humans we don’t realize how much things mean to us until they’re gone.

I’ve spent a long time over these several months getting over it. I had to realize that getting over it wasn’t going to be an overnight thing. I spent much of the time coping in negative ways, moping around and spending my time locked up in my apartment. One day I was talking with an honest and concerned friend who told me I was wasting my time going on like I was and I needed to man up and move on.

There was some comfort in being down on myself and feeling bad about the whole thing. It kept me from actually having to deal with it. After a few days’ thought on what my friend said, it dawned on me she was right. I began to analyze the bad things that happen to people every day. If all of us gave up each time the negative creeps in, there would be very few of us left. The key is to remember we are in control of our lives and have the ability to pick ourselves up when we fall.

So, I had to start picking myself up in the grips of the darkest days of my life thus far. I thought back to a day I hadn’t looked back on in a long time.

I was in a speech class as a junior in high school. We were assigned to find a quote that spoke to us to share with the class. I didn’t take it seriously and picked a random, anonymous quote off the Internet before school that morning. My thought was to find something short so I could read it and sit down as quickly as possible. I wanted something semi-meaningful so the teacher would let me by with it. It wasn’t until I read it aloud that it made its real impact. Standing there having a heart attack in front of the class, I came to the end where it read “I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes.”

When I returned to my desk I folded the little sheet of paper and put it in my wallet. It’s been there for six years now. There are times when it’s easier to live positively than others. I just have to remember everyday that I have no control over what happens to me, and respond to it with an open mind and positive assurance that everything will be all right.